It is now time to talk truck. This isn’t something I do very well. I do a far better job of talking horse. And when I talk truck, I tend to do this the way I talk truck. As in, “Big Red there has been sitting idle for some time. Big Red needs to get out.”

I seem to pride myself on having a low vehicle I.Q. Pete has a higher vehicle I.Q. He can tell you the model, make, and engine capacity of most all our neighbors’ vehicles. Not me. It comes down to this. Judy drives a black vehicle with a computer device that enables her to see what she might back into. Jim drives a beige beater something or other with a wooden roof rack. Oh yeah, the windows have duct tape and plastic on them. Kirby drives a black blue pickup with a car dealer sticker that reads STUMF, the F being backwards. Brian drives a big gray pickup. Gary drives a beater Toyota Pickup. Chris drives a blue P.T. Cruiser.

If I wasn’t out on the horses, and quite obviously focused on keeping them out of harm’s way, I would not even know this much.

I can tell you this about us. I should say that we can tell you this because I asked

Pete to put in bold the particulars that I have gotten wrong. Right now we have four five working vehicles and one non-working vehicle. We use the ’75 Dodge Power Wagon (Fish habitat) to haul hay, the ‘94 Toyota pickup (Sputnik) to haul extraneous items, the 04’ Toyota Tundra (the Mother ship) to haul Pete, and the ‘98 Suzuki Sprite (Little Red Car) to haul me. We also have another Dodge Power Wagon (The Beast) – in the past, Pete’s used it to move snow. It no longer works. I think that Pete’s going to sell the winch and put the plow on Fish Habitat. And, additionally, we have a 2010 Kubota Tractor (Raoul). We are going to use it for a variety of purposes, in my mind turning manure being the most important.

Quite obviously I’m lacking in details. I do my best to keep up with the big picture stuff. Like, the Mother ship is for sale. We (I love that word, we, it implies that I’m involved in this kind of thing) are going to replace the cracked windshield and have it detailed. Detailed means get it cleaned. And we might also sell Sputnik. I’m all for keeping Sputnik going because I use this vehicle for short intergalactic voyages.

Big Red, a 2002 Ford F350, is (of course) here to stay. We’re going to use him to haul Little Red (Raudi) to America.

Stories beget stories, and steep vehicles in sentiment, making them difficult to sell. Big Red related stories are beginning to accumulate. The other day one of our neighbors, Mike, a kindly but very ineffectual fellow, ran his plow truck, a ’75 Dodge Power Wagon like Fish Habitat, off the road into the deep snow. (This truck is orange red and has sort of black and white cab stripe running lengthwise across its body.) Pete and I were at this point in time heading to town to get a video. (This was an excuse; we just wanted to take Big Red out for a spin.) Well, we went left instead of right because I said that I wanted our neighbors to see us cruising around in Big Red. We of course soon saw Mike, who was standing by his truck. He had a very glum look on his face. Another neighbor, Craig, was getting ready to winch pull Mike’s truck out of the snow, using one of Mike’s other trucks—a new Dodge Power Wagon. (Mike is a hoarder and has many trucks, cars, campers, and buses, few of which work.)

We stopped and Craig’s eyes were drawn to Big Red the way a kid’s eyes are drawn to Twizzers and Skittles. “New truck, eh Pete?” Craig said. This, I know, is how males often initiate conversation. And so the two began talking truck. The conversation would have been more involved and lengthy, but quite obviously, Mike needed assistance.

Big Red could easily have done the job at hand. But Big Red did not do this job. This is because Big Red is shiny and new. I mean, this truck gleams. Instead, Pete and I quickly got in Big Red, and Pete backed him out of the range of flying rocks and ice balls.

I never, ever thought that we would own a truck like this one. But this is my rationalization. Life often presents unexpected twists and turns. Being open instead of resistant to these twists and turns makes it more interesting.

Update: I asked Pete what cable guys actually do. He told me that they lay down cable – they put cable in trenches and on power poles and put holes in buildings and connect it to whatever needs to be connected. As I understand it, it’s right up there (no pun intended) with being a roofer. I am thinking, how amazing it is, that Larry the Cable Guy was able to go from being a blue collar worker to being a cultural icon. Bring on the cheese burgers and tater tots.

Next: 91. 4/1/13: Giddy Up