have to take on a shit job. This makes me think of other writers, who find themselves in my position – day jobs often include driving cabs, bartending, doing retail in big box stores. Me? I’m going to apply to be a substitute teacher, in all grades.
I can’t expect that anyone will empathize with me. Some, in fact I think were thinking that it’s about time that I get off my lazy fat ass and do what they’ve been doing for years – working hard to pay their bills. How to explain, that I have been working hard for many, many years – I never complained because I enjoyed my job – it just didn’t pay. And it’s not going to pay. People, I noticed, people in fact that I know, are more apt to cough up $4.99 for a cup of coffee and a muffin than they are for a book that someone spent three years writing.
This is just the way it is. I am now going to have to work hard at striking a balance between getting writing done, tending to horses, and subbing. I have no illusions about this kind of work being what scholar Anne Bertoff once called a “meaning making activity.” I’m not, in the short term, going to make a difference in any student’s life. As I did as a student, I’m going to have to do as a substitute – put in my time. The difference between me and them is that I’ll come home with a paycheck.
And I’ll manage my time in a more efficient fashion. Time is like money, the more you have, the more you squander.
The thing about being down is the only place you can go from here is up.
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