Here I am, in my sister Eleanor’s spare bedroom. Being here, and in this room brings back memories of being here last spring, when our mother was dying. I most remember not being able to sleep. I’d spend the entire night, reading, reading, reading.

It amazes me, and maybe this is why I am flying phobic – that I can be in one place and then few hours later, in another. How is it that planes, these very heavy objects, are able to get up off the ground, stay aloft, and then land in a specific place? This does attest to human ingenuity – it’s one of humankind’s greatest accomplishments. Orville and Wilbur Wright were in the right place in

terms of human development – after their first flight the concept of humans being airborne really took flight.

And so, when I’m way up above the clouds, I can’t fully comprehend why exactly the heavy plane is staying aloft. I know that planes have multiple engines and are aerodynamic – but this is still a mystery to me.

Each plane ride has its own revelations, and its own peculiar insights, most of which are quickly forgotten. I may have a few trips ahead of me, now I have another one behind me.

Pete always does a wonderful job of booking my flights. Quite often, even when flights are full, the seats next to me are empty. This again happened on the first flight, although midway through the dude sitting across from me moved into the aisle seat so as to get away from the mother with the screaming child.

I did at the beginning of the flight from Anchorage to Seattle take half an anti-anxiety tablet, and I also meditated. The Alaska Airlines Captain told us that the flight would be “fairly” smooth,” which of course got me to obsessing about the phrase “fairly.” Did this mean that there would be parts of it that would not be smooth? Sounded like this to me.

The takeoff was a bit rough, but not too bad. Once we were airborne, I repeatedly told myself that this was the “fairly” part of fairly smooth, meaning that the worst was behind us. Meditating worked well – I relaxed enough so that my body felt heavy, and I focused my awareness on my breathing and my individual body parts, starting with my much loved big toe.

The second flight, Seattle to Portland, was just a half an hour. This was a little bumpy, but I kept telling myself that it was a small plane. I had to put my backpack on a cart, and it was stored in the cargo area, this was when I was in Seattle. It took forever to get this item once we got to Portland. And I got a bit chilled waiting because I’d put my down coat in my backpack.

El picked me up and we ate out at an all you can eat restaurant. I think that she worries about me getting my fill of food. El is that way, always thinking about others.

I am glad to be here, having cheated death once again.

Next: 26. 1/26/16: Time away from Home