Some would call it a muse; some would call it an angel. I call it my Inner Voice because this is what it is. Whenever I am about to do something dumb, stupid, or asinine, this voice alerts me to this and then tells me to reconsider my actions. Sad to say, I don’t often heed this advice. And always, after, I regret it. This is because I then think that the Inner Voice is a fiction. Ohh, but I am catching on. The following conversation took place near the conclusion of a very lengthy Saturday EMT class.

Inner Voice: Alys, you are being an idiot.
Alys: Hello Inner Voice, how are you today?
IV: This is no time to exchange pleasantries.

Self Portrait

A: Okay then, what prompts you to speak?
IV: You are fucking up royally.
A: Would you care to elaborate?
IV: No. I want you to tell me what you think the problem is.
A: Well, here I am, in this class, surrounded by a dozen chatty students who are all rushing around, attempting to get the various tasks on their skills sheet signed off.
IV: And?
A: It’s disconcerting.
IV: Why?
A: Because these students waited until the near last minute to do this.
IV: And?
A: I did my work in a timely fashion. They have not. You first need to get classmate signatures. You then need to get instructor signatures. They’re finishing up getting classmate signatures and when they get this done, will get instructor signatures.
IV: And so?
A: I must now wait in line in order to get instructor signatures.
IV: I have just one word for you.
A: What’s that?
IV: Chill.
A: You’re asking me to chill? That’s pretty nervy of you. My time is valuable, and I am wasting it standing here. I could be doing other things.
IV: Such as?
A: Studying for Wednesday’s written final.
IV: Well then, why don’t you just sit down and study?
A: I’d like to do this, but it is very noisy here. Too noisy to study.
IV: Why don’t you go home?
A: I’m waiting for Pete to get here.
IV: Why don’t you just jump in and give some of your classmates’ an assist?
A: Uhh, I suppose I could do this.
IV: Or, why don’t you take a few minutes and chat with Irin, your classmate? She has a sinus headache and might like taking a few minutes and hanging out and talking.
A: Uhh, I suppose I could do this.
IV: Let’s take a look at your skills sheet. Hmm, you have just four you need signing off on.
A: These are the ones that are tough for me. I have to hook up the oxygen tank for each of these. I’m afraid that I’m going to blow the place up.
IV: Silly girl.
A: You know, I could come in on Wednesday, before class, when its quiet and I have the full attention of one of the instructors. Yes, this way I might better learn the tasks at hand.
IV: Exactly. Atta girl. You got it. Give yourself a pat on the back.
A: Thank you.
IV: No, thank you for listening to me.

Next: 339. 12/8/19: Where art Thou, Sunshine?