G-O-A-T is supposed to mean Greatest of All Time. I think that this is a huge generalization – there are great goats and not so great goats. The jury is still out on just how great Swamp Thing actually is.

As far as her deportment and citizenship, she is just fine. As far as her ability to stand quietly in her stanchion, while being milked, she is sub-par. I thought for a while that she came to us in order to teach me patience. This, I am now thinking, is reverse logic. I am here to teach her patience.

I momentarily digress. We got her two weeks ago, from a very shrewd breeder. She sees us coming and we follow suit.

Swampy being milked

Stormy was a sweet goat, but she failed to conceive. She died, and Suzi promptly sold us Swamp Thing. Suzi said that she was not doing well in her herd and had an udder that was not up to breeding standards, which was why she’d decided to part with her.

I know now the questions I ought to have asked, such as, is she calm when being milked, or is she a kicker? Turns out, she is a kicker. I at first attempted to deal with her sporadic outbursts by giving her more food. Uh Uh. This was rewarding her bad behavior. I then had this brilliant idea – cover her food dish with a pot lid prior to milking, when I’m attempting to clean her up. Also, cover it up when I go up to the house to dump what I have on hand. I do this regularly so as to reduce the risk contaminating the milk should she put her foot in the bucket. This did not work tonight. Wham – foot in the bucket early on. If goat foot lands in bucket, goat milk must be discarded. One can only think, all that hard work down the drain. So tonight, I had to have Pete finish up. She likes men more than woman, or perhaps Pete more than me.

I also should have taken a closer look at her udder, which Suzi said had dropped because of loose suspensory ligaments. And, in looking at that udder, I should have asked if the small teats and large bag would be problematic when milking. As it turned out, it is difficult to get a hold of her small teats, and of course, my fumbling around annoys her.

I also should have asked just how much milk this goat produces. Turns out, she gives a gallon a day. Neighbors are taking two quarts a week. They purchased a goat share from us. But already, we have more milk than we need on hand.

Swampy’s one saving grace is that she is a very pleasant goat and gets along well with Ranger. Goats generally butt heads, but not these two. Ranger, I think, would be heart broken if we parted with Swamp Thing.

Pete did come up with a solution, earlier today, before the foot went into the bucket. This morning he went online and ordered an automatic milking machine. Had he not come up with this solution we would be taking Swamp Thing back to Suzi.

All I can think is that this invention most likely saved the asses of millions of goats.

In the meantime, Swampy and I are going to have to continue to deal with one another.

Next: 162. 6/12/21: Pete on the Front Lines