We all learn early on that we can’t have everything we want in life. Even those who supposedly have it all, want more. This is not the biggest unfairness in life. The biggest unfairness in life is losing those you care about. This is the second biggest unfairness in life.

Some would say that I do have it all. I can go out and ride my horses any time day or night. Furthermore, I don’t have to trailer them any place in order to ride. Right now, I am road riding and making the best of it, but soon, soon enough I will be back on the trails.

I also live in a nifty cabin, one that we heat with a very efficient woodstove. It has a glass front, and the burning wood casts a warm glow.

Alys and Tyra

And I have a job of sorts. I’m the Outreach Coordinator of the Bright Lights Book Project. I do enjoy this job in part because I make my own hours.

What’s missing came to mind later today. Today the sun shone brightly but no matter. The temperature was in the single digits and it was breezy. I had to dig down deep in order to motivate myself to get the horses out. As it was, I didn’t go as far as I would have gone on warmer day. They and I are both getting a bit bored with road riding, in particular with the hard and uneven and patchy road surface. I can almost hear the horses going p-tooey. Tyra, she makes a groaning sound.

I finished my three rides (I ponied Raudi off Tinni) then cleaned the enclosure. Then I came inside. Once again, I got too much sun, this from the glare created by the sun on the snow. I was tired to begin with, and I was even more tired when I finished.

As I took off my outer layers, I found myself wishing that we had a hot tub in the upper quadrant. I then pictured it, me climbing into the hot water and just zoning out. How lovely this would be. Then I thought, what would it take to get this? The biggest obstacle would, of course, be human-related. Pete’s more of a sauna man than he is a hot tub man. At the same time, he is also agonizingly practical.

He would say that after we finished building it (and this would take a while), we’d have to fill it with water and then at times drain it. I suppose we’d have to have a hose going out of it, so the water could run down the hill. We’d also have to do this fairly often because I’d be in the hot tub every single day. And, oh yeah, we’d have to repeatedly build a fire so as to heat the water. This, Pete would add, would be far too much work.

So there. I may have nearly everything I’ve ever wanted in life. Maybe I am not going to get a hot tub because then I’d have everything and no one, not even I, am entitled to have it all.

99.4/10/21:A TKO on Your Soul