My father died on this date; I think five years ago. The sun was shining brightly and the leaves on the trees were golden. I got a message from Carol, his wife. He’d had a heart attack. At least he went quickly, which is always a good thing.

I wish he was around; he’d be interested in the book project – this would be a point of commonality.

We as children spend our lives attempting to live up to our parent’s expectations, and while they are alive, we don’t. We might, after they die, but there is no way of knowing.

Ranger and Rover eating by Siggi

I am beginning to see that, really, there is no such thing as heaven on earth. We struggle to survive, if not physically, mentally. We don’t know why we are here, and we don’t know where we are going, and this makes for considerable uncertainty. We may have been better off if we hadn’t evolved into what we are today.

It continues to rain. Even the hunters are retreating – the moose are probably all breathing a sigh of relief.

A bear attacked a nine year old child on the Palmer hay flats, and a hunter immediately shot it. The questions are, why was that group in the vicinity of the bear? The bears are pissed because we are infringing on their territory. And because of the rain, they now probably all have sinus problems.

Well, a long day on the book project front. Today was one of the first days when I failed to see an end to all the work. I cleaned, and categorized, and consolidated – then went to the post office with my two slips. Pete figured something important out, and this is that if you have something in hand to mail, you are best off standing in that line if you need to pick up a package. The package line was longer than the mail line, so I chose the latter. And yes, I got assistance far more quickly than if I was in the other line.

I was told to drive my car around to the rear of the building. There I picked up close to twenty boxes of books. I managed to get them all in the Subaru, a feat unto itself, then when I got back to the Meeting House, I had to deal with guys patching the drywall that the plumbers had torn into last winter. These guys make a mess and don’t clean up after themselves.

I ended up leaving the boxes in the front room – to be sorted and categorized tomorrow.

I went to the Palmer Community Foundation meeting after, feeling dazed. As did the other grantees, I gave my two minute speech, and after that, I assisted kids in selecting books off the library cart, usually reserved for seniors.

I know that I’m doing a good thing. But I need space if I am going to continue this work for very much longer.

This is all I have to say tonight.

Next: 260. 9/22/22: The Equinox