I pause here, before writing. I have a standing desk/bookcase, my computer is on a wooden stand that Pete made. Under it is a light. In front of it are two painted rocks, given to me by my friend at the Palmer Senior Center, Cathy, a small blue swirly stained glass square with a red heart, and a polished rock. It is a variety of colors. The light illuminates the features in the painted rocks, the stained glass square, and the polished rock.

I have repeatedly examined these items, mostly before starting to write. They are the final act of procrastination before I begin writing. It’s not enough to get to the computer and turn it on; I must again and again look carefully at these gifts.

Sometimes, like tonight, I spend more time examining them than other times. There is a correlation between time spent mulling over these distractions than others.

What would I do if they weren’t here? I’d most likely examine something else. Or I’d scratch the inside of my ear with a paperclip. I stopped doing this because my ears started itching all the time.

And how does pondering such things affect the quality of my writing? That extra minute, spent pondering, I suspect that my brain works the same way my car works. It’s sort of a warmup time.

Now that the weather is good again (and today was splendid), I am out and about more. The Subaru, I decided, needs a new owner, one who really enjoys fixing things that go awry. The muffler is going, so it is very, very loud. It goes huck, huck, huck, huck, pppt, pprt. Bang. And sometimes it dies. I have learned to be very careful at intersections.

Now though, it’s a race against time. I don’t know how much longer Dirty White Grrl is going to last. As might be said, every day it runs, or walks, is a blessing. Har har. Maybe I should get a St. Christopher medal and hang it from the mirror. That isn’t such a bad idea now that I think of it. And a statue of the Virgin Mary for the dashboard.

This race against time – I am going to get a new car fairly soon. We got enough grant money to pay for this. When I ask Pete to do online shopping, he gets into it. So tonight, we were checking out Subarus online. We found a used one in Fairbanks. If the money comes through, we might purchase it.

I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I might get a new company vehicle and that it will be paid for. I most definitely would not have imagined this would happen when I started this project. I just remember looking at all the identical young adult books in the Gaylord and wondering what to do with them. Now I know, send multiple copies to villages.

I get older, and I get smarter. This is all I now know.

Next: 123. 5/5/23: Hrimmi’s Eleventh Birthday