This, these days, is what I’m most concerned about. I’m lucky in that I’m not worrying about where my next meal is going to come from, or if we have enough money for the upcoming mortgage payment. We have plenty of food in the larder, and we paid off our mortgage some time ago. And we no longer have to pay property taxes since one amongst us is now over 65. We do have a Subaru car payment, but if felt so inclined, we could pay it off now. I also have plenty of not-so-fashionable, but warm winter clothing.

Life is such that there is always something to be concerned about. I now know this to be true. Right now, I’m wondering if I will ever achieve balance. I seem to be either on one side or the other of the writing/horsey pendulum but never in the middle. For the longest time, my focus was on my literary life. Then it was on my horsey life. Now my focus is back on my literary life.

Hrimmi

It very well may be that there is never going to be a point in time where there is a middle-ground. I might have to content myself with it always being on one end of the pendulum or the other.

I am spending time with the horses – today I took them all for walks and they were most appreciative. But it’s not enough. Tyra in particular wants to go on an adventure. Hrimfara and Raudi will happily follow suit. This, after all, is what they were born and bred to do. What I lack right now is a horsey buddy, which is someone who is obsessed with trail riding. This someone might have a horse or two that, like mine, have been highly educated and simply need to be ridden. This someone would also believe in the use of positive reinforcement. And additionally, he or she would eschew the use of non-positive reinforcement training methods – the use of harsh bits, rope halters, and round pens included. And most importantly, this person would not be carrying any horsey baggage. For instance, their horse would trailer readily and if need be, willingly leave their stable-mate behind.

Maybe, now that I’ve articulated this, it will come to be.

The literary life (dare I say it?) seems to be taking off. My friend Judy, who I met while on my Fairbanks to Valdez ride, gave me the name of an editor of the Alaska Humanities Forum newsletter. Today I wrote a query letter for an essay that I proposed to write, entitled The Bright Lights Book Project: Stories beget Stories.

Shelf Life is coming along, in part because I know some about the composing process of writers, the most important thing being that I have to trust the adage of writing for surprise. I sometimes don’t know what I’m going to say, but I’m not letting this stop me from writing. And most times, I do end up being surprised.

I should thank my lucky stars that, although I am lacking a balance in my life right now, at least there is a pendulum.

Next: 34. 2/3/23: Motor, Motor, Motor