The very to assay means to test metal or ore in order to determine its ingredients and quality. The word essay is a derivation of the word assay. Broadly defined, it means to explore and/or to venture forth. M.M. Montaigne, who is considered to be the father of the modern essay, essayed by showing his reader the path of his thinking. He wrote in an inductive fashion, building upon speculative ideas and then, based on his findings, coming to certain self-realizations.

I have always enjoyed working in an essayistic fashion because it complements my thinking process. I figure out things as I go along, and then based on what I determine, conclude my essay accordingly. I have struggled when asked to work in a more deductive fashion, putting my self-realizations first then substantiating it.

I was required to do this when working on my Ph.D. dissertation. I tried to think the way a good Ph.D. candidate was required to think and failed miserably. Now, looking back, I realize that my dissertation committee could not think outside the box. It was acceptable to speculate about the personal essay, but it was not acceptable to write one, or a series of them, in an academic article.

I did have my chance, that is when a new committee head was assigned to work with me. Essentially, he rubber stamped my work, saying that I was free to do whatever I wanted to do. I was pretty far along in terms of the numbers of hours I’d put into the document, this was why I didn’t, as I should have, started anew and written a series of essays.

I also had been led to believe that writing exclusively about the composing process of writers was passe, and that I needed to embrace the tenets of rhetorical theory. I could not write exclusively about the composing process of writers because I believed that my teachers were right.

Now, having given the matter more thought, I am now thinking that I was led astray. There are so many individuals who’ve written in a very articulate, accessible, and convincing fashion about their own composing process, and at the same time, assisted their readers in making their own composing process connections. These writers include (of course) Donald Murray and Peter Elbow, as well as Natalie Goldberg and Anne Lamott. Their greatest collective strength is that they don’t talk down to their writerly audience.

I am now thinking more outside the box, in relation to my own writing. Oddly enough, I’m now writing about literal and figurative boxes. The literal boxes (in Shelf Life) contain books. The figurative boxes are restricted thought processes.

I most definitely am essaying, figuring out things as I go along. The downside of this is that sometimes the details obscure the big picture. I wish I could channel M.M. Montaigne and ask him if he had the same problem.

Next: 11. 1/11/24: Nulla Dies Sine Linea, Decomposing