I had to beg Alys in order to allow me to do the State of Squalor Holler Address. I am not one to beg – I am a very dignified dog, a border collie of a supposedly unknown lineage – and so begging isn’t something I like to do. But I did it – I sat on the stairs a short while ago, and I gave her the eyeball.

Alys and I communicate quite well, always have. We’re a two-dog household. I own her and Shadow owns Pete. It works well this way. Alys is kind and giving but lacks patience – and Shadow needs an owner with patience. Pete’s the man. He pretty much ignores her bad behaviors (like peeing on the floor when she gets excited) while Alys does not. Alys isn’t mean to her, but she much prefers to interact with me.

At night, when she reads, I lie on the bed next to her. And some nights I lie on her bed, between the window wall and her body. She never tells me to get off the bed. Shadow, now Shadow, she does something that Pete calls the seal walk – she splays her rear legs out behind her and pulls herself over Pete, and then Alys’s body. Talk about being obvious.

For the longest time I repeatedly said to Alys, “get rid of her,” meaning Shadow because she would do puppy things, like jump all over me in an attempt to get me to play with her.

Before Shadow arrived, I spent hours on end upstairs, on the bed, sleeping. It was a good life. Now Alys thought that my lifespan might increase if they (I was not involved in this decision) got a puppy because I’d then become more active. Well, yes, this turned out to be true. And Shadow has been a good mate. She has never eaten my food (I growled at her once and she got the message), and she’s fun to be with while on the trails.

She is, however, a total suckup. Pete says that she has excellent recall when out on the trail. This is so, but you know, sometimes a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do, and that which a dog has got to do is chase squirrels and grouse. This, after all, is what dogs are born and bred to do. At least this is what I’ve always thought.

Shadow also doesn’t have the eye as do border collies. The eye, which is characterized by a high intensity of focus, is very important. I can’t imagine going through life without it. Dogs that lack the eye lack the ability to herd sheep. This is actually most dogs – I guess this got bred out of them. What a pity.

So the State of Squalor Holler – Alys has been working a lot lately, so Pete’s been getting us out on the trails – thank dog. And Both Alys and Pete are making sure that we are fed twice a day – this is the most important thing of all, with our being fed treats a close second.

Next: 6. 1/6/24: No Title Today